We might begin with one part of daily life that matters to the person: sleep, food, phone use, movement or rest. They choose something they want a clearer relationship with. It gives us somewhere concrete to explore an intention, a choice, the conditions around it and what happens inside when that moment arrives.
The work begins with honesty. We want somewhere a person can bring the honest reason for a choice and feel held within that honesty. They can stay with what they experience without immediately moving into shame or the feeling that they have no choice in the matter.
A better habit can be something the person wants. Alongside that intention, we want to discover how they can hear their own reasons and remain interested in their experience.
The moment before a choice
Suppose we agree in a session that someone will try going to bed at 10 o'clock. They might set an alarm or arrange a reminder.
Ten o'clock comes. They do not want to go to sleep. They want to keep watching something or stay on their phone. They are allowed to choose that.
Just before making the choice, the invitation is to pause and journal the internal experience. The entry might be very simple:
I don't want to sleep because I want to keep watching. It's fun, and sleep feels boring.
That can be enough. It gives us something honest to hear and explore in the next session.
What matters in this moment is becoming comfortable hearing the reason without immediately judging it. The person is learning to stay with their own experience at the point where an intention meets a different desire. We can become curious about that experience together.
Curiosity involves being gentle, precise, and open — Pema Chödrön
Gentleness leaves room to hear the reason. Precision keeps us close to what actually happened. Openness allows the experience to tell us something we might otherwise have passed over.
A short truthful note is useful material for the work. We do not need to turn it into an elaborate explanation. We can begin with the words the person actually has.
Keeping an intention alive through creativity
Creative strategies and changes to conditions belong here too. They can emerge from paying attention to the person's actual day and what they enjoy.
Someone might discover that they can turn on the bath, look forward to having it, and do the laundry while it fills. That is a discovery to encourage. It shows a way of staying engaged with an intention that has some life in it for the person.
The form can shift. What helps this week may be different from what helps next week. We can keep returning to what the person wants to do, while allowing the arrangement to change.
There might be a reward, some help from another person or a connection with an existing habit. We can explore these possibilities and keep finding out how they feel in practice. A strategy is something to remain curious about.
This brings joy and creativity into wanting better habits. The person can look for the most enjoyable and creative way they can find, then change it again when they want to.
Conditions give the exploration a place
Sleep, meals and movement are part of daily life. So are time, reminders, other people, the environment and the demands surrounding an activity.
The SEEDS model gives us a way of considering interacting conditions and the support available. In this coaching work, those conditions help us look closely at a particular intention and the experience around it.
A reminder might bring the intention back into view. The next part is hearing what happens when it does. If the person wants to continue watching, we can make room for that truth. If an arrangement helps them act on the intention with some pleasure, we can recognise that too.
Genuine means being really friendly with yourself. — Pema Chödrön
The journal gives these moments somewhere to go. In the session, we can stay with them, recognise what is already possible and explore what support would make a difference. The person has someone to explore that honesty with.
Stay with one thing over time
One meaningful part of life can give the exploration continuity. The person can return to it, recognise what is happening and see how changing a condition changes their experience. What matters is that it means something to them; it does not have to be a grand project.
Positive conditions support positive change. That change can be slow to recognise, especially when other conditions are pulling in a different direction. If we look only for the final outcome straight away, we may miss what is already changing.
With enough sensitivity and stability to stay with the process, and an OT to explore it with, the person can begin to say: I did this, and I can recognise what changed. This is how trust in their own experience develops. It gives them confidence to make further choices.
The practical articles can be useful places to turn when something feels stuck or a condition needs exploring. The course gives us time to experience what happens when we work with that information in our own lives.
A period of support, with room to explore
The six-week ADHD coaching programme provides a scaffold for exploring these experiences across six 30-minute appointments.
We begin with the person's own experience and the resources and capacities of their mind. Saying that these capacities belong to all of us can remain an idea if we cannot recognise or access them. The course invites direct recognition, then exploration of the conditions that make access possible.
We explore how attention moves, what helps the person feel grounded and held, and how they can remain in contact with what is happening within them. Pen and paper, movement or another accessible practice may help make that contact possible.
Honesty runs through the work. So do joy and creativity. The original intention remains something we can return to, while the way of engaging with it can change.
A defined period gives us room to try something, bring back what happened and explore again. There is no need to make a promise that a new arrangement must now last forever.
The next session can begin with a simple truth: this is what I wanted, this is what happened, and this is what it felt like.
Read also Attention, focus and feeling held and Recognising the qualities of attention.